Parenting

Being a parent i look back at my upbringing and start to understand where certain of my behavior comes from. I see where my own parents went wrong and for back of a better word "screwed up". It is maybe harsh to say but it is the truth. Its scary to think that you have the power of shaping a human being and no matter how we twist and turn - we will traumatize our children. Hopefully that will be limited damage. The answer on how well we do is when the child is already grown up and then we are powerless to correct our mistakes. In worse case scenario your child will turn your back on you and you will never see them again. The other hard part is that we only have one chance and really there are no parenting schools. There might be guidelines but they are only guidelines and not necessarily correct. We follow our intuition and step back looking back at our own life trying not to make the mistakes our parents did. Perhaps we will succeed, but fact is even though we will do the best we know how to - we will make mistakes. At the end of the day if we stay true and follow our hearts the mistakes will not be too traumatizing and our children will understand and forgive us. Only time will tell.

Aging with grace

Not so long ago i got the opportunity to meet my grandpa for the very first time in about 10 years. I had totally forgot what a long time it was since i last saw him and part of me was kind of embarrassed that i haven't seen my grandparents for so long.  He lives in a different country to me and really there is not much left in my homeland for me to visit and life has thrown me in unexpected directions and it has taken years for me to get back on my feet - yet somehow i do not think thats an excuse for not seeing them for a decade - it is a horribly long time. It's sad to think that when my grandparents pass away i will be left with very little if anything to visit in my own country. That said my granddad decided that he wanted to see the north of sweden yet again and considering his age he thought that this would probably be his last trip. It is quite a tiring journey for anyone, a couple of hours by car to the ferry and then 18 hours on the boat and a couple of more hours again with the car.

Yet he claims he relaxes while traveling and despite his old age (a respectable 90) he decided to make the journey. Finally i got a chance to meet my grandfather, and i have to say my heart went all soft.  I have worked with elderly people as long as i remember and its sad to see that after a while it is either the body or the head that gives in. My grandfather though is stubborn. I have to say that i would love to age with such grace. He does need a walking stick but prefers to walk without it. The hearing is weakened but his mind is still very clear and it is rather impressive to have a discussion with him about what happens in the world. During his visit he spent most of the week reading books (he finished 3!). I was amazed that he still can think clearly and has not lost much of his memory. I feel so blessed to have met him yet again - and i hope that life will continue to be good to him and that i will yet again meet him. 

Washing machine

Today i just remembered a commercial of a washing machine. I think its really great. Its already five years old and i still think it's a great and innovative idea. This is the video from youtube. The music is from Vangelis - Ask the moutains.

Buzzing Wasp

As mentioned at some point before - i really love taking pictures...and sometimes after taking zillions of pics you end up lucky with that one great shot. This is mine taken this summer.

Love

The other day i was looking through some papers and I found this post card. I always seem to misplace it so this time I'm putting it up here so i will always have it. It's one of my favorite poems...beyond words..so beautiful.

I love you beyond what words can say

You are such an important part of me

 such a precious part of my life,

 and yet it's hard to convey the depth of my love. 

It's difficult to express

the changes you have made in me

and the meaning

you have added to my life.

Words do not do justice to my emotions

when I want you, need you,

and love you

with every breath of my being.

I love you beyond words and action - 

beyond meaning.

My mind, my body, even my senses,

are full of you.

You are as important to my life

as the very beat of my heart.

I hope you can look into my eyes,

deep within my soul,

and know without words that you are

the part of me I treasure most.

-Deanne Laura Gilbert